December 4, 1998

i'm here.

today i am somewhat. here? gone? happy? yes.

blue is my favorite color. hah. now it's me. oh so blue. yes it is because of furniture. my couch is blue.

tonight they're having the awards banquet at school. i should be there. i should be getting an award. too bad i suck. oh well. i have someone here to keep me sane and comfortable tonight. that's good because otherwise i think i'd be face down in self-pity. i bought 2 six packs of coke last night and they're already gone. geez i need to lay off the caffine. my hand is twitching. my fingers are numb. armondo is crying because he is my friend. how do i do that to people? i suck. people should just stay away from me. do you hear me? STAY AWAY! i'm the devil. we are little devils. yes. yes. smile for the camara.

i have a clock on top of the computer that doesn't work anymore. what the fuck? none of my clocks are set right. i don't want to know what time it is i just want to keep asking. err. i'm a freak. and you need to dance naked more often. malls suck with no money. taco bell is a cheap alternative to eating. if you watch waves rising long enough, you'll feel like you're going with them.

bad kitty. can't believe i saw the shirt. fuck, this world is creepy.

i'm being thrown out of here again. err. the landlord is such a tease that way.

i'm off to scream. entertain. buh bye.