September 2, 1998 3:37 p.m.

okay, so today has been totally crappy. well, most of it anyhow. i was a little upset this morning. no, i was really upset this morning. then i wrote a letter to a friend and chatted with him for a little while. that helped a lot. i love that he doesn't judge me or anything. he just pretty much listens (or reads, as the case may be) and that's all it is between us, i think. talking, writing, listening, reading...it's beautiful. i don't think i'd want to give it up for anything. it's just cool. hmmmm. him, on the other hand, well....we'll have to see. he's pretty much got me guessing at this point. but, for once i'm just assuming it's all good.

so, i got to school and it reminded me of everything that's hanging in the balance right now, and how much i don't want to give it up. (and if i have to, well then, the outcome is just not going to be very lovely). but, as usual, i painted on a pretty smile and went about my political nonsense for a while. happy, happy, happy. then, me and my best friend here on campus snuck into "the truman show" and had a great time. totally the highlight of my entire day. i love hanging out with him. he always has a way of making me smile, even at my worst. gotta love him for that, i do.