Return

Return me to the time

When you left me

In the photographs

And the pills

And maybe again

You'll come back

And maybe again

I'll be here

Or maybe this time

You'll convince me

To die like I should have before

Then return to the place

Where you left me

In the heat of a day

I forget

And maybe that place

Will be frozen

And maybe that place

Will be gone

Or maybe that place

Will be tainted

With the blood spilled there, moments before.

Pretend

I wondered when I came here

Just what I would find

Behind the mask

I've grown to admire

So, I stopped for a time

Just outside

And bought a trinket

From the stand next door

And I wondered if you'd noticed

My footsteps on the garden wall

Or perhaps the petals I plucked

From the prettiest roses

Hid them well enough

This time around

I never wanted the moon

To illuminate these dirty hands

But what can I say…

I've never been good at these things

Like hello

And goodbye

And all the running in between

Quite frankly

Makes me tired

So can't we make this simple

Just this once

And pretend

We're here for something.

What I desire

Is as elusive as it is clear

An invitation

To walk into your world

As more than a mere thought

To entertain

I promise not to disturb

The silence here

No need to pretend

There is something

I feel it

And so do you

What would it be

If I were there?

I love my freedom, yes

But hate it all the same

Take it

Borrow it

Anytime you like

Because freedom is a cage

As much as anything.

Emanate

The heat on my back

And you in my hand

Perfect and happy

Looking down at the gorge

From bridges and clouds

And wondering how it would end

You saw me to well

Before I could hide those silly packages

In the seat behind me where you sat

Brushing your cheek against my neck

And breathing in my yellow hair

You wore red panties under your skin

Smelled of watermelon and barbecue

And everything that was home

Before I left it in the river

Where we died on a Monday afternoon

Behind me are the flowers, the only ones you left me

How am I to forget this, love?

When you keep yelling it in my ear.

Daddy

Dark room spinning

For him

I alone with my demons

And he consumed by his

Ties to rubber bands

Trembling, alcoholic dreamer

Wipe the needle clean

Between dirty, licked fingers

Make him happy

For the gang parade

And frozen dead, dangling puppies

In the sand.

I am bright

A charmer with anklets on

As always he thanks me

With a tonguey kiss

And whispers

That's my little girl.

Thinking

I wonder what you're thinking

When you close your eyes that way

I never did quite get

That part of you

And now, we're lying on the bed

Where you fall asleep

To dream of her

And on the pillow

Where you watched her sleeping

Does it matter that when I close my eyes

I don't see you anymore

But rather a rendition

Of a moment I once knew?

I didn't think so.

That's what I love about this

Dream we live in

It never quite seems wrong

Even when it is.